A Tense Couple of Weeks
If it seems I've dropped out of my own life the past couple of weeks, it's because the time for signing divorce and custody papers has arrived, and lately there has been some unexpected wrangling over custody issues. With luck and good judgement they will be settled very shortly, with Mia's best interests guiding us all. It has put literally everything else on the backburner, though.
On the upside, Mia's cousin stayed at our place last night for a sleepover, and they had a great time. I found myself just sitting back and watching the two five-year-olds, listening to their earnest exchanges ("I'm a teenager because I can throw the ball up in the air and catch it." "Well I'm an astronaut."), marveling at the beauty of it, and saddened, too, by all the hostile or indifferent forces crowding in around them, and around all small children.
I'm not a religious man, but I find myself praying for the strength and the wisdom to be her father, to steer her safely into adulthood.